The R Word (Retirement)

Let’s say the R words together: Retirement. Retired. Retiree.

Pam Paquette (Pam Paquette and Associates) faciliates Retirement Transition Workshops which means she says – and teaches! – the R word every day.

And even she says there’s a weird silence around the word. “It is almost a taboo,” she explains. “In a culture where we define ourselves by our jobs, who are when we’re no longer “working” for pay?”

Think about a cocktail party: what questions do people ask? What do you ask?

What’s your name? How do you know so-and-so? What do you do for a living?

It is almost like “making a living” is living.

So, says Pam Paquette, “when we talk about retirement, we talk about money.”

Money is often easier to deal with than Great Big Questions around Identity, Meaning, and Value.

Questions around money can be quantified, and measured – and answered.

How much do I need? How much should I save each month? What will my budget look like?

There are formulas for that. Those questions are answerable.

Less answerable: what is the formula for finding yourself?

“And that’s what retirement is,” explains Pam Paquette. “It is a transition. It is the first time in most of our lives when we’re free to explore things that mean something to us, personally. Our kids are grown. Our time is our own.”

And what do we do with that time?

And therein lies the identity crisis that often accompanies major changes and transitions into new phases of life.

For most of us, work provides a structure and a rhythm. Get up at ____, get to work by ______, and fill in your ‘real life’ around the edges. And what we do at work often provides meaning and accomplishment. We manage projects, achieve milestones, work through tricky situations, leap hurdles, and surmount challenges.

And at a cocktail party, it is clear what we contribute to the world. We’re productive. We’re in the fight. We work.

And now…we’re retired?

What does that mean?

Who am I, if I’m no longer a secretary/teacher/plumber/builder/nurse/doctor/lawyer/manager/hair stylist?

What now?

I felt guilty not to be working! I thought, should I be working at least part-time?

…coming from a high-pressure job to suddenly a void.

…suddenly I am not important – no title, no nothing.

For many “retirees” – there’s the R word, again – volunteering is part of the answer.

In Canada, 47% of people ages 45-64 years volunteer an average of 177 hours a year. 42% of people 55-64 volunteer 202 hours a year. And 32% of people over the age of 65 volunteer 245 hours a year.

Volunteering is a way to stay engaged. It is a way to keep contributing your skills. It is a way to develop new skills and keep learning. It is a way to make new friends and go new places. It is a way to try things you were always interested in doing but never had the time to do when you were working.

Volunteering is a way to be surprised: you just never know what you’ll get out of it.

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Are you retired and volunteering in the Tri-cities (Coquitlam, Port Coquitlam, Port Moody?

Would you like us to tell your story?

Please let us know in the comments below, or by e-mail.

We’d love to hear from you!